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Another one of my all time favorites.
Accident Report
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In block number 3 in the Accident Report
Form I put "Lost Presence-of-Mind" as the cause of my
accident. You asked in your letter that I should explain
more fully, and I trust the following details will be
sufficient....
I am a bricklayer, by trade. On the day of the accident
I was working alone on the roof of a new 6 story building.
When I completed my work, I discovered I had about 500
pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry them down
by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel, using
a pully, which fortunately was attached to the building
at the 6th floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then
I went to the ground floor, untied the rope, holding it
tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of
bricks. You will note in block number 3 of the Accident
Reporting Form, that I weigh 145 pounds.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence-of-mind and forgot to let go
of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a high rate
up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming
down--this explains the fractured skull and broken collar
bone....
Slowed, only so slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my hand were 2 knuckles deep
into the pully. Fortunately, by this time I had regained
my presence-of-mind, and was able to hold tightly to the
rope inspite of my increasing pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground and the bottem fell out of the barrel.
Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed
approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in
block number 3, and as you might imagine--I began a rapid
decent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, yes, I met the barrel
coming up, this accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, and the
lacerations on my legs and lower body....
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately,
only 3 vertebrae were cracked....
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile
of bricks, in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty
barrel 6 stories above me, I again lost my presence-of-mind,
and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the
rope--so it came down on me and broke both my legs....
I trust I have furnished you the information you require as to
how this accident occurred.
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